in memory of Nuala
The sound of Amazing Grace
Rang out from the seams of the walls
Heads turned looking for the source
Mandalas of blue hues swirled behind the flickering candles
A cloth of grey skies shimmered through
Incense, bundled bodies wrapped in grey and black
I saw a dusty pink hat with a red ribbon
Someone was brave
I sat at the edge in the back row
Ready to make my exit, if need be
The woman with the pink hat came to sit beside me
I moved over, no longer at the edge
She took out a picture of you
Put it on the wooden ledge
I tried not to look
It’s as if you’re stepping out into the world
Beaming
On your wedding day
A simple band of daisies in your hair
Up and down, on our knees
Archaic hymns and readings
I am filled with feelings
I cannot express
I fight the swelling tears
Think of something funny you said
I say it like a mantra in my head
Hysteria
What If I laughed out loud?
Would I be like one of those mad people?
Good grief
A battle between tears and laughter
Neither wins
But I cannot stay here
Out onto the winter streets
To the crowds drinking mulled wine
As if nothing happened
I missed the ringing of the bells
For you
Rest In Peace